I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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