Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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