Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
