But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
