so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
