Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
