Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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