If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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