I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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