With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
