Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
