I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
