I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
