i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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