can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
