Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
