You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
