So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
