Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
