Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
