I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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