i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
