just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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