I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
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He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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