don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
