and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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