did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
