So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
