It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
