Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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