I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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