and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
