I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
