You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
