Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
