So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
