Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
