He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
