just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
