Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize