They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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