How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
