she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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