She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
