I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
this will be a night to untag.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize