grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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