called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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