almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
