I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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