I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
