Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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