I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
