She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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