But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pants are for mortals
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
