and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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