Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
