if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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