My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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