and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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