he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
