I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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